I AM EXHAUSTED. I FEEL LIKE MY HEART HAS BEEN STABBED AND IT CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH. I AM COMPLETELY CLUELESS. I DONT KNOW IF I WOULD BE WILLING TO TRADE MT SANITY FOR THE ONE THING THAT MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY. THIS ROLLER COASTER PLAYING OF EMOTIONS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. ONE MINUTE I WOULD BE ECSTATIC, THEN NEXT MINUTE I WOULD BE EXTREMELY EXASPERATED. I DONT KNOW. I SHOULD JUST STOP AND GIVE UP. I DONT GET HOW PEOPLE CAN BE SO HEARTLESS. BUT I GUESS ITS MY FAULT. I HAD THAT FEELING AND I COMPLETELY IGNORED IT. LIKE I SAID, MY HEART CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH. I GUESS IM JUST GONNA HAVE TO LAY IT ON HIM. IM DONE PLAYING. IM NOT HAVING FUN ANYMORE. I STOPPED HAVING FUN THE MOMENT I STARTED HAVING REAL FEELINGS FOR HIM.