A BRAND NEW DAY. A BRAND NEW YOU

I GOT ANOTHER DUI. MY SECOND IN 3 YEARS. I WAS DEPRESSED AND FULL OF REGRETS. I KEPT THINKING TO MYSELF, WHY ME? AGAIN? ME? WHY NOT, RIGHT? I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT AND PUT TO JAIL IF I WAS INNOCENT. HAD I BEEN MORE CAREFUL THOUGH, I MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT. I JUST GOT THROUGH MY FIRST ONE AND NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. EVERY SINGLE CONSEQUENCES, PAY FOR EVERY SINGLE FINE, COMPROMISE WHATEVER NEEDS TO BE COMPROMISED, AND SO ON. ALL OVER AGAIN AND MORE. MORE IS BETTER IF ITS GOOD AND FUN. IN THIS CASE, TAKE A GUESS.

I JUST GOT A LETTER FROM DMV, TELLING ME THAT THE JUDGE HAS AFFIRMED THE REVOCATION OF MY LICENSE. IM OKAY. I KNEW IT WAS COMING. HONESTLY, I HAD SMALL HOPES OF GAINING THE JUDGES SYMPATHY. YEAH. SURE. ITS NOT THAT BAD. 4 MONTHS. I CAN HANDLE THIS. I SWEAR, IM NEVER GONNA GET ANOTHER ONE. I WILL MAKE SURE OF THAT.

TODAY IS THE DAY I TELL MYSELF TO STAND UP AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD. AS ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTIST SAID, "A LIFE PERFECT AINT PERFECT IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE STRUGGLES FOR, FALLING DOWN AINT FALLING DOWN IF YOU DONT CRY WHEN YOU GET TO FALL. ITS CALLED THE PAST CAUSE IM GETTING PAST AND I AINT NOTHING LIKE I WAS BEFORE... YES I WAS BURNED BUT I CALL IT A LESSON LEARNED. ANOTHER LESSON LEARNED." I LOVE THIS SONG. IT KEEPS ME INSPIRED WHEN I NEED TO BE. LEARNING TO ACCEPT THINGS IS HARD, WHATEVER SITUATION YOU MAY BE IN, BUT ITS THE FIRST STEP IN MOVING ON. YOU JUST HAVE TO WANT TO MOVE ON. ACCEPT IT, EMBRACE IT AND LEARN FROM IT. AND IF YOUVE DONE SOMETHING BAD, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT. THERE'S NO USE POINTING FINGERS. YOU CAN POINT ALL TEN FINGERS TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU ALL YOU WANT BUT HONESTLY, WHAT FOR? DONT BE STUBBORN. YOU CAN NOT RELY ON ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF. ITS YOUR LIFE. IF FATE HAS BEEN KIND ENOUGH TO BRIDGE OPPORTUNITIES TO YOU THEN WALK IT. RUN IT EVEN. FATE MAY BE KIND ENOUGH TO DO SUCH THINGS FOR YOU BUT DONT EXPECT IT TO DO ALL THE WORK. COME ON, BE GRATEFUL. SHOW YOUR GRATITUDE AND DONT WASTE IT. YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SO MUCH.

BREAK TIME

THE PAST FEW DAYS HAS BEEN A DRAG. I FEEL SO EXHAUSTED. EXHAUSTED FROM FRUSTRATION. I TRY AND TRY TO STAY POSITIVE FOR MYSELF BUT I DONT KNOW, THINKING POSITIVE JUST SEEMS TO BE TOO MUCH OF A WORK LATELY. IVE BEEN HAVING.. I DONT EVEN KNOW. IT SEEMS LIKE IVE HAD THE LONGEST WEEK EVER. I CANNOT BELIEVE WERE STILL IN THE MONTH OF JANUARY, THAT WHOLE WEEK SEEMED LIKE AN ENTIRE MONTH FOR ME. I NEED SOMETHING TO CHANGE MY LIFE. I AM SO BORED. I HAVENT BEEN THIS BORED SINCE NEVER. I FEEL LIKE I AM LIVING IN MY OWN WORLD NOW. BUT NOT IN A GOOD CASTLE KINGDOM AND UNICORNS KIND OF WAY. I DONT WANT TO GO OUT TO CLUBS AND DRINK AND GET DRUNK TOO. IM NOT FEELING THOSE STUFF ANYMORE. ITS SO POINTLESS. IM SO SICK OF IT. PROBABLY BECAUSE IM NOT REALLY THAT KIND OF PERSON. I WANT TO EXPLORE. MAYBE TRY SOMETHING OUTDOORS. I WANT TO MEET NEW PEOPLE. DO NEW THINGS. I WANT TO ESCAPE THIS TRAGIC MOMENT OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. HAHA. YES I DO GET OVER DRAMATIC SOMETIMES. IM JUST SO BORED. I AM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS CURRENT SITUATION THAT I AM IN RIGHT NOW, BUT ITS JUST NOT WORKING. ITS JUST GIVING ME MORE AND MORE REASONS TO FEEL THIS WAY, LIKE IM NOT HAVING ENOUGH HARD TIME ALREADY. WELL, ITS A NEW YEAR AND A NEW MONTH NEXT WEEK. I AM DEFINITELY LOOKING FORWARD TO FEBRUARY. ITS SPRING TIME AND ITS MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR. ITS ALREADY LOOKING BETTER. YES. I AM FEELING THIS.

Sister One